When it doesn't end well, it hurts.
I experienced the hurt in 1991 sitting in a hallway in the Northwestern State Fieldhouse after failing to qualify for LHSAA State Outdoor Meet in the javelin. I sat on the floor with my back against the wall, towel over my head.
I don't remember any one throw in that regional meet, only the feeling afterward.
I wanted to be alone. I couldn't face my father. I knew he was hurting, too.
Before I ever entered high school at C.E. Byrd, I dreamed of competing at the LHSAA State Outdoor Meet. I probably started dreaming the dream on that afternoon when I first held a 6 pound shot put that my father bought at Steadman's Sports Center in Bossier. It rolled out of a brown paper bag and I put the cold iron ball against my neck and took my first throw out of the shot put ring at Lee Hedges Stadium.
It was love at first put. I dreamed of competing in Bernie Moore Stadium, like Airline's Arnold Campbell. But it wasn't meant to be.
Young people are resilient. And I was young. The sun did come up the following day, and although I didn't go to track practice--liked I had hoped--I did survive and started to make preparations for my summer job at Netherton Construction company, compliments of the connections in the Louisiana Tech Football program.
Last year, thirty-two years after my disappointment in the shadow of NSU's Turpin Stadium, on the same javelin runway--it didn't end well for my daughter. As we made that long walk to the car, I know that the tears and sweat mixed together on her face and burned her eyes because my eyes had burned in that Fieldhouse hallway many years before.
As a junior, she had thrown a personal record 115-9 and made it to the finals of the javelin at regionals. She didn't qualify for state, but we were excited about her personal record and the possibilities of her senior year. As we celebrated, and made our way to our favorite restaurant on Front St. -- we talked about how close she was to the school record.
"It's never enough," she said. "Even when I throw my best, it's never good enough."
Somehow, when she made that comment, I felt like it was the kiss of death--the beginning of the end, and her fate would be that of her father's.
Last week, my wife asked my why--a year after our daughter has stopped competing-- there are two javelins on our front porch.
"It's hard to say goodbye," I replied.
I've only talked to West Ouachita's Jahzell Jackson one time. It was last year after he won the District 2-5A high jump as a junior. I remember that Jackson was shy and it was hard to get anything out of him about his district championship performance.
Jackson went on to finish second at the 2022 LHSAA Class 5A State Championship with a jump of 6-4, two inches behind Slidell senior Jayden Averhart.
This year, his senior year, was supposed to be Jackson's year.
A little over a week ago, he defended his District 2-5A title winning with a season best 6-4. It earned him No. 5 ranking in all of Class 5A.
But nothing in track and field is given. Everything is earned. And Adversity comes in many forms.
Last Wednesday, it came in the form of a cold front which moved through the Natchitoches area the morning of the Region 1-5A Meet leaving puddles scattered in different places on NSU track's tartan surface. One of those places was beside the high jump mat.
I'm not making excuses for Jackson. It wasn't easy for any of the jumpers. Airline's Jeremiah Boudreaux almost cleared 6-8 in winning the District 1-5A Meet the week before. He finished second on Wednesday with a jump of 6-2.
Benton's Mark Perry qualified for state in the high jump last year after finishing third at 2022 regionals with a jump of 6-2. Perry finished behind Jackson in fifth place at this year's regional meet with a jump of 5-10.
But Perry qualified for state in the triple jump with a third-place effort of 43-5. And Perry is a junior.
There is no next year for Jackson.
It hurts. And it hurts me that it hurts him. I've been been there.
But Jackson has been one place that I've never been--the podium at Bernie Moore Stadium. I hope that after the initial hurt of not ending his senior season at West Ouachita the way he wanted, that Jackson will be able to take solace in his accomplishments.
To all of those seniors, who have ended your track and field career at regionals or district, we thank you. We thank you for everything you have given to track and field. Thank you for pushing yourself every day in practice. Thank you for listening to your coaches. Thank you for taking care of your business in the classroom to be eligble to compete. While it may not have ended the way you wanted it to, what you have given to the sport matters. And what you have learned form the sport matters. The work you have put in matters. And we thank you! You matter! To the sport and to us--the La. high school track and field community.